The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. (John 8:3-8)
Fr. Jett Villarin, SJ in his newly written book “Startle” wrote, “Interestingly enough, it is not the sinlessness but the sin of others that brings us to our senses and to a confession of our own sinfulness.”
During my Spiritual Pastoral Formation Year (SPFY) there were many psycho dynamics —be it sexual, emotional, and spiritual— that awed me and helped me come face to face with myself and my personal issues. I came across with the words “projection,” “mirroring,” “displacement,” “transference,” etc.
Too much introspection allowed me to have a very strong self-awareness. Then after SPFY, one of the famous lines that usually enter my mind or even come out of my mouth was “where is it coming from?” It has caused some form of paranoia.
I often ask questions like: Why is it hard for one to ask for forgiveness? Where is it coming from? Is it maybe because that person already thinks that it will be very hard for the other person to forgive? Does he have difficulty in forgiving himself?
Why are we so afraid to be criticized? Where is it coming from? Maybe because we already have an experience of criticizing others and how it felt to criticize and be criticized. We have a terrible experience of criticizing others and we do not want that to happen to us.
Why do people separate after years of happy engagement? Where is it coming from? Maybe they realized they were just pressured and they really do not love each other.
Sometimes I do understand. Sometimes I find it hard to understand. Sometimes I really do not understand at all.
In the gospel we have seen the anger of the people towards the adulterous woman. In effect they wanted to stone her to death yet did not pursue it. Where was it coming from? Maybe they also realized how sinful they were, they withdrew from her.
I realize, that maybe the sober awareness of the self and sinfulness is grace. For when God pours out His grace, He opens doors for us, the doors of mercy and compassion. When we recognize our own sinfulness the power of Christ becomes available to enrich us, so that we can offer ourselves to God, faults and all. The discovery of our spiritual poverty opens our souls to receive God offering and awakens us to an awareness of his call.
The challenge facing all of us is to detect the voice of God in our lives and to have the courage and generosity to answer promptly. God expects us to share in his work of spreading his love and mercy. May we continue to be vessels of mercy and compassion of God to other people.
JAMES B. ABELLA (San Jose Seminary)
Friends of John 2012 